Master Career Counselor

As a career counselor I always make sure clients understand the three time zones of career success. We actually live in all simultaneously:
1. The past.

This one creates the most toxic of outcomes if you're not careful. The past can be the greatest obstacle to achieving goals because it grabs us by the foot and holds us in a mire if we have made mistakes and experienced failure. This time zone demands that all of us implement a new frame when looking at what we perceive as failure. New definition for optimal growth: Failure is when I experience something and learn absolutely nothing from it. Regret and sorrow have to stay behind you.

2. The present.

This time zone taps into several of our essential motivators to work, live and love. It is the NOW of life never to be lived again. This zone demands energy, focus and a sense of purpose to help you overcome the past and to not be stalled in fear of the future. Optimal growth occurs when you play hard, laugh loud from the belly and think of yourself as part of a community. No matter how isolated you may feel at times, you are a part of something much greater than yourself. Go find it.

3. The future.

This time zone requires that you not be faint-hearted. It runs at full capacity when you do two things: A. Ask a lot of questions such as, "Where do I want to be in a year? How do I get there? What can bring meaning into my work? What leisure activity do I need to try? B. Get over or through or around the fear of where this zone might take you.

Life at full throttle means our sorrow for mistakes is in the past, our will to love and live is in the present and our brain power is engaged to think, "what do I intentionally want to do? in the future.

Apathy is not welcome in all three zones.

In the last post, the main idea was this:

In the future of the American workforce you may work but not have a typical "job".
It may be that you're contracted by the job with a set deadline and a goal to achieve. You can have tons of flexiblity, but it such availability can lead to serious hours of work especially at night when everyone else is asleep. But in the end, is it worth it?

As a mom of three with a vital need to have flexible hours to put them first, the answer is yes. I do much of my work on a contract basis only. I see clients hourly and limit my private practice hours. I do trainings, workshops and a variety of tasks that are on deadline. It is an awesome career to allow freedom to be an academic coach at my daughter's school, take a break whenever I choose and to walk the dogs at a moment's notice. To be a careerlancer (career professional + freelancer)means that I have opportunities to cook dinner in the middle of 40 emails, run to the post office before or after lunch and to eat lunch at 2:30pm if I wish. The challenge isn't finishing or accomplishing the goal, but rather how to blend it all into a meaningful and rewarding life with no regrets.

Professionals today run a marathon as though it were a sprint and very few know how to pace the demands into the synchronicity of life's precious and fleeting moments. Thus, I said no to daycare and yes to raising my children. I said no to working in a job that asked for "40" a week when the unwritten rule was really "50" or more. I said no to a sense (albeit a false one) of security with a job title, and a knowledge that I would have a job. There are no promises for that anymore.

Rather, I have said yes to being the driver rather than passenger of my career. The car may be in warp speed at times, but its me who puts it in gear.

Yes, it is scary but so is staying in a cubicle from 9 to 5 with no flexibility for a life calling to be lived once. I am writing into a blogosphere of almost nothingness trying to tell someone that needs to hear, "It is worth it to take a chance on making work fit your schedule rather than being a slave to it.
The answer?
Becoming a careerlancer for life. The how to guide will continue in these posts.

The American work world is in a frenzied and ferocious state of redefinement. Yes, in just a few years, we could all have work, but not necessarily "jobs". In the future, what will fill the need of employers is the professional who considers their identity in three facets:
1. contracted work
2. short term relationships of synergy
3. stepping into roles in a seamless fashion.

1. Contracted work- This new model will mean that most American workers will be contracted on a job basis only. This may mean doing the work, meeting the goal and getting paid for it. Yet, it is a limited and on call basis only. Call it career freelancer. This person is adaptable to fast paced environments that outpace the dinosaur bureacracies it leaves in its wake. The Pro--- FLEXIBILITY. You can work from home in your pajamas and take a break whenever you want. It is about the end result (product) not the time spent (clocking in). The Con---can be risky for the faint-hearted. Not knowing where your next project will come or when, can be stressful. Is it worth it?
2. Short term relationships of synergy- The new American worker will need to know how to cultivate quick relationships and adapt to a myraid of personalities and demands. You might be working on three projects at a time with three different "bosses"...it can get a little crazy. But is it worth it?
3. Stepping into roles in a seamless fashion.

Creating garments without seams is incredibly difficult but worth the work. What a spectacular display of craftsmanship. Similarly, working as a free agent or careerlancer requires a professional who adapts, flexes assertiveness and initiates projects from the ground up. It means a blur of time spent working. This may mean working at midnight but at least in your pajamas. You may be a project leader and take a break to tuck your kids into bed or let the dogs out every 2 hours. Is it worth it?

You bet. In my next post, I will tell you how I did it.

Bad Boss Quiz Results

Based on the last post and quiz of bad bosses, here are the directions and results.

1. For each of the 25 questions give the following points to your reponse:

A. Blue answers get one point.
B. Green answers get two points.
C. Purple answers get three points.
D. Red answers get four points.
E. If no answer applies, then zero points are given.

2. Tabulate your score by adding up all the points.

3. Below is the feedback given for the type of boss you have.

Score 90 to 100 LETHALLY POISONED ENVIRONMENT OF DESTRUCTION

Results Feedback: Your boss is rabid. Get the heck out of there! RUN!!!!!!! Leave as soon as humanly possible. You’re in a dungeon of venom yet no one has handcuffed you to the wall. Your blood pressure, headaches and depression are signals you can’t ignore. Life is too short! Find another place to work. Hurry! Do not delay. Your boss is as poisonous as carbon monoxide. No work, no project, no paycheck is worth what you are enduring.

Score 80 to 89 TOXIC CENTER OF REEKING GRAVITY

Results Feedback: Your boss is horrible. Leaving your current position must be a definite priority in the very near future. Your boss is verging on a lethal level of unhealthy behavior and attitude. The inability to know day to day how your boss will act or respond is not conducive to professional development. In addition, your lack of trust in what actions are being carried out is a warning not to wait it out and hope things will improve. Don’t tolerate this harmful behavior any longer. Leave!

Score 50 to 79 CONTAMINATION ZONE OF NEGATIVE VIBES

Results Feedback: Your boss is one of indifference, intolerance and resistance to change. Your type of boss will always want things the way they’ve always been and will not address the need to accept new ways of doing business. Rather, they prefer to play it safe resulting in a depressing work environment of monotony, resistance and inefficiency. “We can’t do it! No! Sorry! Maybe next year! Not enough resources,” are common responses from the pessimistic boss who refuses to embrace the inevitable and will avoid conflict at all costs. Do you really want to stay? Is it worth it to be in a lackluster environment that will not harness your talent?

Score 26 to 49 FUNCTIONAL FUMES OF STATUS QUO

Results Feedback: Your boss is likely putting out flames and taking on emergency situations around the office. Always responding in a reactive mode of operation, your boss may not be one to give specified attention to your professional growth and development. Be assertive in scheduling quarterly meetings with your boss to receive feedback on how to improve, develop and learn new ways to do business. If you don’t, a lack of motivation, energy and focus may swallow you up in a vacuum of numbness.

Score 25 or below AROMATIC POSITIVE BLISS

Results Feedback: You’re enjoying the best boss around. One who likely is supportive, communicative and flexible. No boss is perfect, but yours sure does come close. Send a note to her/him and express how much you appreciate their leadership and let their actions become a role model for you. After all, when one of your employees finds this quiz on the Internet, what do you want your score to be?

As a continuation of the last post dealing with a bad boss, let's first set the parameters for what defines and measures a bad boss by taking the following quiz. Each statement reflect an indicator that merits our attention and focus on what constitutes a bad boss.


Important directions:


A. Place a check on the line of each question if your answer is yes.


B. If you placed a check by the statement indicating yes, then your next step is to circle or highlight the colored frequency of how often the behavior occurs. Scoring the quiz will depend not only on bad behavior but also how often it occurs. Scoring the quiz will come in the next post.


For now, when you read each statement answer it immediately. Don't chew the sentence and spit out an answer three hours later. Go with your instinct and past experience.



Are you ready? Okay, let's begin.



1. ___ My boss produces a toxic environment of distrust by actions that seem to make no sense at all to me or anyone else.



Only occasionally weekly daily constantly




2. ___My boss gossips about others behind their back without regard to confidentiality, respect or integrity.



Only occasionally weekly daily constantly




3. ___My boss lacks social awareness skills such as constantly interrupting, saying rude or obnoxious comments in meetings or to my face. I feel so uncomfortable when I am with my boss.



Only occasionally weekly daily constantly




4. ___My boss appears oblivious to the harm caused by an unmanaged emotional outburst in a meeting or to the staff who feel embarrassed or humiliated when hearing it.



Only occasionally weekly daily constantly




5. ___ My boss can exhibit impulsive behavior toward making decisions that affect office policy and procedures and will usually enact rules without notice.



Only occasionally weekly daily constantly




6. ___ My boss will ask for feedback but when it is given, dismisses it as nonsense or makes whoever spoke up feel stupid.



Only occasionally weekly daily constantly




7. ___My boss makes unreasonable demands on me or staff usually as a result of poor planning and ineffective leadership in meeting deadlines or goals.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

8. ___My boss has impossible expectations. No matter what happens, NOTHING is ever enough.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

9. ___My boss seems to feel threatened by other's success and accomplishments.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

10.___My boss would not recommend a top performer on our staff to other departments or managers to keep that person from moving up.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

11. ___My boss doesn't want to change the way it has always been done and is resistant to changing the status quo.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

12.___My boss plays favorites with staff and makes it obvious to the ones not chosen.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

13.___ My boss completely ignores conflict and avoids trying to solve problems with staff and peers.




Only occasionally weekly daily constantly



14.___ My boss seems to have no life outside the office and is consumed by work.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

15.___My boss appears to have a hidden agenda or an underlying motive that I can't quite put my finger on.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

16.___My boss can be cruel and ruthless in treatment of others including peers on the same level.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly



17.___ My boss is inflexible with work schedules and the occasional need for family flexibility.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

18.___My boss has a leadership style that is all about control.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

19. ___ I would leave my job in a heartbeat because of my boss, although I love the work I do.

Occasional thought weekly thought daily thought constant thought

20. ___ The culture in my workplace is poisoned by the negative attitude and actions of my boss.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

21. ___ What is valued most by my boss is keeping my mouth shut and doing whatever I'm told.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

22.___ My boss doesn't annually evaluate me in a review giving positive feedback and challenging me to do my best work.

It happened five years ago Talks about it but never does Refuses to make it a priority When hell freezes over

23. ___ Depending on mood, everyone stays clear of my boss if it is bad.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

24. ___ I breathe a sigh of relief when my boss isn't in the office or away in meetings.

Only occasionally weekly daily constantly

25.___ Since I started taking this quiz, I feel nauseated and my head hurts.

Only a little I'm quite queazy I feel sick I just threw up

You have completed the quiz. Ready to score it?

Results will be tabulated in the next post.

Stay tuned.

Today’s entry is a spin-off from my last one. Sometimes, no matter how much you and co-workers may have similar patterns of migration to interests, activities and values that bring meaning and fulfillment to the workplace; there are bosses who make life miserable for everyone. Before we begin to define a bad boss and what to do when you have one, let’s ask ourselves one question, “Is my boss incompetent and therefore bad or is my boss challenging and therefore stretching my boundaries of comfort?”

A bad boss is defined as one who is incompetent in leadership skills (what they do) and sustainability (who they are) in the workplace. A competent boss may actually challenge us to step out of comfort and go beyond the status quo. Thus, we may describe them as “bad” because they don’t fit our concept of doing things the way it has always been done.

Does that make them bad? The word “bad” is so subjective!

If you have stated the following to your boss in the past six weeks, your boss may not be so bad after all and you may need to redefine your expectations. Have you said:

“But, we’ve always done it this way. Why change it now?”

“Will I get paid for this extra work?”

“That is not in my job description!”

“I can’t do it. I don’t know how.”

“Do I have to do that?”

“I will get back to you in the next few days.”

“I really don’t like all this change.”

If you’ve answered any of those questions with a resounding yes, then let’s re-word the negativity. If your boss is leading at a pace you’re uncomfortable with or does it different than how it has always been done, it is likely you have the greater challenge.

A boss is not there to make your work life comfortable. A boss is there to make you competent and harness your very best talent.

In the next post, let’s get to the heart of what the definition is of a really bad boss.

So much of the joy, reward and meaning of work is not solely found in what we do. It is also discovered quickly in whom we do it with. I have seen many clients over the years in a desperate migratory journey trying to find happiness at work when in fact it wasn't the work itself. Rather, a co-worker, colleague or boss seemed to make life on the job completely intolerable.

Take Jane for example. She chose occupational therapy in college because her dad commented that it is a 21st century hot career. She excelled academically in the sciences, but upon the clinical phase of her work, discovered a huge disconnect with her colleagues and patients. "No one seems to like me or even speak to me. My co-workers act like a high school clique and my patients are rude and condescending. They won't follow my directions even though I am matter of fact and concise. This work makes me feel incompetent. "

Take David as another example. He chose to be an attorney because of its seeming prestige in the community. He breezed through law school but could never develop a successful private practice upon graduation. His first hints of disppointment were in law school when he didn't seem to fit with classmates. He preferred being alone and likely appeared aloof. He hated working at the firm and despised what he perceived as office politics. He never once joined in for after hours get togethers, parties or social events seeing them all as a waste of time. He couldn't understand how he could excel academically, but fail misearably on the job. " I can't understand why this career is so horrible. I have constant anxiety and a recurring ulcer. I don't fit in with everyone else. No one in the firm seems to be like me."

What do Jane and David have in common?

Here are some lessons they've learned the hard way:

1. Career satisfaction is a broad spectrum of variables you cannot control such as the people who work alongside you. An awesome career can be ruined by a horrible boss or co-worker.
2. A third of life is spent at work. Why spend it in misery at a place or point in your life where you don't fit now or perhaps never fit at all? Academic success doesn't predict a sustainable, enjoyable and meaningful career.
3. A person can excel at the employability skills taught by professors or academic courses but not have similar interest patterns and values of colleagues that increase or decrease satisfaction in the workplace.

How is satisfaction attainable in the workplace you ask?

Well, let's just lay it on the line. It is all about our feathers, beak and migratory habits.

We ALL have a need and even longing to belong to something bigger than ourselves. Sometimes that plays out for some of us in a group. For some, it means being left alone with uninterrupted time and concentration. We need meaning and a sense of value. The more time spent with colleagues sharing similar beliefs and ideals the more we sense inside ourselves that we "fit" within the ranks of a profession.

For me, this collaboration and sense of identity corresponds to a goose flying in a "V" formation. Sometimes, I want to lead the charge for a new and updated theory or scope of practice that pushes the limit of tested knowledge. I will honk and quack until everyone is on the same page. Then there are moments when my wings are tired and I fall back in a set formation following the wind gusts and air lifts until energy is restored.

After all, geese are all about belonging to a flock. They're group oriented and even roost together in lifetime pairs.

All of this to say that as an identifiable goose, I know not to waste energy trying to eat out of a hummingbird feeder. I'm a bird with wings and a beak but I don't flit very well. I am not fast and speedy. I appreciate landing on a supportive device for long periods of time. I'm also not typically territorial and won't fight for the food unless irrationally provoked.

There are stark differences in people just as there are among the avian species. What species of bird best represents you? Are you a hawk? An eagle? A robin? A cardinal?

Whatever variety, the critical issue is to receive the validation of other birds like you and to appreciate the differences in those who aren't. Do you know at this moment, where birds like you are flying? Where have they set up the roost and you are missing the action?