Master Career Counselor

Our definition for networking must be the frame for this post:

It is the ability to become a small yet important part of a larger interconnected system of people from across one's community, industry or professional sphere to be a resource for others and access resources from others when needed based on mutual benefit and agreement.

In essence networking is a dance. It involves three important components:

1. Synchronicity
2. Timing
3. Intimacy

Without each of these three actions properly functioning at once, adjectives begin to emerge:

Networking is so awkward!
It is so uncomfortable.
It makes me feel so clumsy and ill at ease.

Imagine for a moment, the world of work is very much like the ancient rite of proper passage: attending and participating in a coutillion. First, you must RSVP properly. Next, you dress up for the occasion. Finally, you attend only to dance with partners you don't know. When my daughter attended this event in her eighth grade year, I picked her up a little early (on purpose). I walked in to a ballroom crowded with teenagers trying to find comfort in dancing with strangers. Yes, it was organized and supervised by adults who rotated the participants alphabetically so no one would be left out. However, when you slow dance with a stranger it is plain awkward. I saw this happen to my child.
When I found her in the crowd she was tolerating the last dance. It was a slow one where she had to dance close to someone she didn't know. It was interesting to watch as they tried to dance in synchronicity. They drew close for the dance but their heads were completely turned away from each other. How can you look into the eyes of complete stranger? Their uncomfortable stance was obvious body language of complete awkwardness.
Networking can be the same as a coutillion dance. Unless you've developed a fundamental relationship with the other person, it will always feel difficult to ask for what you need or to help another person when you haven't developed the relationship. Thus, we will continue to look at three imperative networking factors: synchronocity, timing and intimacy in future posts. Get ready to dance and look others in the eyes.